"What did the grape do when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." Yes, we know that's a second-rate punchline but it's not nearly as disappointing as breaking a beloved bottle of booze or, worse still, turning up at a trendy soiree with a warm one. Of course there are various ways of avoiding such disaster but bulky cool boxes and plastic bags full of ice are both a bit Carry On Camping-ish, especially in the hi-tech Noughties.
That's why we instructed our specialist team of booze-related product scouts to search for a state-of-the-art alternative. And before we could say 'Ooh, I could crush a grape' they returned with the ingenious byobag.
These chic and convenient bags are crafted in high-quality neoprene - you know, the sleek cushiony stuff that wetsuits are made of - and they will protect and insulate your precious bottles to perfection. Whatever your wobbly pop predilection, we've got it covered ( literally ).
The One Bottle byobag's nifty carry handles pull down allowing you to serve your wine right from the bag. And you can forget about vino collapso, as this firm but flexible container will always keep your bottle standing upright. Better still it folds flat when not in use, so as soon as you've finished drinking you can slip it somewhere comfortable without ruining the line of your suit (try doing that with a cool box).
The Six Pack byobag can transport six deliciously frosted bottles or cans of your favourite loudmouth soup in perfect perpendicular fridge-conditioned comfort.
The machine-washable byobags are perfect for parties, picnics, holidays, festivals and any other drink-related shindig you'd care to think of. In fact, the ultra-stylish byobag is so aesthetically pleasing you'll want to use it to carry your water to work and your fizzy pop to football. It doesn't feature seductive notes of zesty raspberry or even a cheeky oaky nose, but with summer upon us (well, sort of) there's never been a better time to stay cool and protected with a byobag. So we suggest you get ordering before the entire sauce-imbibing world goes byobag crazy. Bottoms up!