Warm Beer. What the F is going on?

Monday 30th September 2013

"Mmmmm a warm beer! Thanks! This is wonderfully refreshing, it's really quenching my thirst. I think it actually tastes better at this temperature." – No one. Ever.

Unless it's an ale (and even then) warm beer is a truly unnacceptable abomination. It's a kick in the teeth. It's immoral. No one ever tolerated a cold tea or coffee, and with good reason. So why do people think it's okay to serve hot beer?

You hand over half your wages in your local drinking hole only to be rewarded with a glass that's fresh out of the dishwasher and hotter than the fires of hell, and then they follow it up with a bottle of room-temperatue venom. It's the ultimate dishonour. They know what they're doing. It breaks our spirit and the mere thought of this being our very first drink after a long hard week haunts our dreams.

Sadly we cannot solve the scandalous quandary posed by pubs and bars. But in your own home surely there's no excuse?

Lack of preparation? Lack of time?

Get out. No way. Next you'll be telling us it's okay to snaffle down raw chicken fillets and frozen chips (from the bag) because there's "no time."

Make time. There is no substitute for cold beer. None. You know it to be true.

Okay, so no one likes a product pitch abruptly pasted on the end of an article but we've done it anyway. For your sake.

If you despise warm beer, then for the love of god buy a Chillsner Beer Cooler.

It freezes quickly, and gives you that "Oh my sweet lord how is this beer not frozen!? This is mind-blowing. I'm actually crying!" feeling every time.

The Firebox Blog: Not as funny as we hoped...

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