Dear Josh Egglestone,
We've got something to get off our chests. We adore you.
From the moment you caught our eye on Twitter we knew there was something very different, something inherently special about you.
You have filled a void that we didn't even know was there. You've enriched our very existence.
You inspire us Josh. You've nourished our soul. Just knowing that you're there makes everything worthwhile.
Thank you for seeing beneath the surface Josh, for seeing us for who we really are.
We've never actually met you in person but we can already tell that you're a fine physical specimen, a model man. You've already proved your cerebal credentials and that you're a master of the written word. You've taught us things about love, passion, lust that we never knew existed. Shown us the power of devotion, commitment and living in the moment.
Please don't ever leave, the mere mention of your name in the office makes us buckle at the knees. We want to spend the rest of our lives with you. True love can only be seperated for so long. You make us feel like together we can change the world. We'd be powerless without you.
Oh Josh we just want to collapse into your arms, tear off your shirt and twiddle your warm chest curls as the red sun rises. We want to straddle you and make sexually-charged pottery together. We want your hot breath on our neck.
But for now Josh Egglestone, let's take it one tweet at a time.
Our eternal love,