Most of us aren't characters out of a Dickens novel, we don't all have a luxurious glowing fireplace to hang our stockings on and usher in the warm spirit of Christmas.
With these festive threads emblazoned across your belly, who needs story-book clichés or that morbidly obese gift-giving pig they call Santa. YOU are now the bright and cheery embodiment of Christmas.
This outlandish piece of Yuletide knitwear has got everything – three detachable and fillable stockings as well as a flickering LED fireplace that actually lights up.
Sit proudly at the head of the dinner table with this highly limited edition jumper. It's chunky and warm and triumphantly transcends the boundaries of 'tacky Christmas sweater' (just about) and enters the lofty realms of 'powerful festive masterpiece!'
Christmas comes but once a year so make sure you look the part.