Were you born to be a guitar god? Then you were also born to wear a black T-shirt with a suitably lairy design. So why not combine the two via the amazing Electronic Guitar Shirt. Dignity, what dignity?
This amazing piece of rock ‘n’ roll clobber is adorned with a fully playable integrated guitar, no strings attached. There’s even a mini amp with tone and volume knobs (of course it goes to eleven) that slips into a pocket in the hem. Simply strum away using the included magnetic pick and prepare to melt faces. It’s all axe no grind.
You needn’t worry about that whole talent malarkey because any div can play this rockin’ tee. Each button on the touch-sensitive neck represents a major chord, so playing most rock classics is easier than putting on your wig. That said, there are no preloaded riffs; you’ve really got to play this baby. Well, almost. Fiddly fingering? We just press and strum.
Okay, you can’t play Van Halen-esque solos or improvise like Jimi. But who cares about that when you’ve just learnt No Sleep Till Brooklyn whilst lounging on the sofa. If you really want to emulate your heroes you can always put your foot through the telly and complain about the canapés.
If you’re thinking this is some plinkity-plink sounding toy, think again. Its chest-crunching chords have been recorded from a genuine electric guitar. Kerrang! Belt out the intro to Smoke on the Water and your fans will be doing the whole Wayne’s World ‘we’re not worthy’ thing before you can say ‘four note blues scale melody’.
Of course you’re liable to work up a real sweat playing with yourself like this, so the Electronic Guitar Shirt can be easily washed once you’ve removed its electronic whizz-bangery. Not that real rockers wash their clothes. They get their ‘roadies’ to do it for them. ‘Mum…Mu-um!’