Balloons. What's the use?
On the one hand they're synonymous with the good times – playfully batted around a dance floor, flanking a table of extravagant hors d'oeuvres or taped to the garden gate to symbolise there's a "party over here!"
On the other they're a depressing reminder of your wretched old age, colourful orbs telling you that you should definitely be having more fun than you are; getting in your face as you try to clear up a pile of last night's alcohol-drenched debris.
Unless you're a 3 year old (and even then), balloons do not make a party – they're the inflatable illusion of fun. So why not celebrate honesty and undermine the big occasion with these thoroughly Abusive Balloons.